Story Dam Prompt: Mr. White's Letter to Santa

Dear Mr. Santa Claus:

    My name is Gregori White, CEO of Toys 4 You, and I have a proposition that I believe you will find most agreeable. Do you toil in and out all year, desperately trying to make enough toys for the boys and girls of the world? Do you find your resources--paint, wood, metal, Christmas cheer--horribly scarce at the most crucial of times? Do you find yourself having sleepless nights, swarming in paperwork and tinsel?

    Well, I have a solution.



    Toys 4 You is the premiere toy company of the world. With a workforce of 300,000 employees and the most advanced toy-making technology to date, we have achieved the fastest toy processing lines on the planet. With our resource channels far superior to all our competitors, we never fail to have our products on time, in surplus, ready to be shipped--via our army of 16,000 trucks, ships, and planes--all over the world.

    We are the masters of the the toys.

    But you, Mr. Claus, you are the god!

    And I firmly believe that a partnership between you and Toys 4 You will create the most efficient toy-order and delivery system that the Earth has ever and will ever see! You will never again have to labor over sickly red-nosed reindeer and rickety old sleighs! Our cargo planes are the fastest in the world. Forget sliding down musty old chimneys! Our delivery men are trained to be cordial, prompt, and trained to defeat hum bugs in a single blow, without even needing to refuel with cookies and milk!

    Instead of frantically attempting to make it around the world in a single night, you, Mr. Claus, will be able to sit back in the comfort of your own northern home with your lovely wife while my men do all your work for you. Toys 4 You is there for you, through sleet and snow and the infinite legions of Jack Frost's army! That is the Toys 4 You guarantee!

    So, Mr. Claus, what do you say?

- Sincerely,
Gregori White
CEO , Toys 4 You

***

    Sitting his glasses down on his side table, Santa pinched the bridge of nose and shook his head. Grumbling under his breath, he picked up his mobile and dialed the factory office.

    "Santa's Toys! Jolly Cheerson speaking!"

    "Jolly, it's me. Can you send someone down to my house?"

    "Oh, of course Mr. Claus! I'll send someone right away! Which department?"

    "Lists. I have someone that needs to be added to the 'Naughty' one."