Poetry: A Writer on the Internet

I wake, I rise, get up, and go
Sit down, turn on my Macbook Pro

Wait for the load screen and that sound
And watch my data come around

Meanwhile, I dress, put on my socks
Then click Mozilla Firefox

It starts at Yahoo; God knows why
Then it's to Gmail after two tries

My first mail loads, and so I wait
Good Lord, 158

Three from college, eighty spam
Delete them all like the God I am

Don't save a one, because you see
They're Amazon ads for crap TV

Log out, back in with a different name,
To see if I've hit tumblr fame

But no, alas, I'm in the sticks
Reblogging quotes and Sherlock pics

I try a poem, they're kinda stiff
So I get more notes on a silly gif

Two hours later, I realize
That tumblr's taken over my life

So I click away, I must escape!
If only to reach a similar fate

Cause I hit Cheezburger, their spell!
They've got me going LOL

God damn it all, I try again
And end up in my Blogger den

Thank goodness! Writing! Finally!
And yet, it is not meant to me

Cause I've got comments everywhere
On a post I did for a stupid dare

Wade through them all and reach the top
Realization: I have writer's block

Sigh, time to browse some more
Wonder what G+ has in store?

Ten million posts, ten thousand chats
And half of them are about cats

Check my circles, you might say!
You really think that can save the day?

This circle thing, I've heard of you
But I suck at it, so I've only got two

Sci-fi writers, like my awesome self!
And a generic category for everyone else

So Google+ goes down the drain
On to WordPress, you might claim

But I'm brand new on WordPress, see
So no one's ever heard of me

How about twitter? It never fails!
Until you get that frigging whale

Critique Circle, will you save the day?
No, you just want me to pay...

Or Facebook? Land of social ends!
The one on which I have no friends?

Fmylife? To have a fit?
Well, that's kinda accurate

Listverse! Wondrous lists of win!
A list of 80's songs again?

Head over to Not Always Right?
But I read them all the other night

Weather.com for a moment's gain?
Wonderful, it's going to rain

Screenrant? What is all that clout?
Apparently movies I don't care about

Fifty minutes later...I should sue...
I end up back on old Yahoo

"Articles" with 50 typos still
What I wouldn't give to kill...


And when I look up, I check the time
I put this line here just to rhyme


Close Firefox and go to class,
The internet can kiss my ass


But it knows that I'll be back later
My mind is such an effing traitor


I'll sit back down and stare again
Whilst writing nothing made of win


So here it is, my ode of fret
Of a writer on the internet