Oct 12, 2011

Short Story: The Division & The Conqueror P2 (REN3)

(Part 1)

The Division & The Conqueror, Part 2

                  Naylor stormed through the door, slamming it closed on its creaky hinges. He’d been fuming all the way home from the post office, enraged at the very idea that he, of all people, hadn’t been paying his bills on time. He had an exact schedule for bill paying, and he always followed it, even when he was near broke. He’d never missed a single payment of any bill, and yet here the bank was telling him he’d missed six straight months!

“What a load of bull!” 

The sound of pans clanging to the floor rang out to his left. He sighed and shuffled over to the kitchen, where a disheveled young man was quickly picking up the scattered pans. Naylor shook his head.

“Brian, what in God’s name are you doing?”

“Ah!” Brian dropped the pans again, cringing as they crashed onto the hardwood. “Yipe! ‘m so sorry, Mr. Beckett! I was tryin’ to get some good cleanin’ done ‘fore ya got home, but then ya came home and startled me, and I done dropped the pans and now they’s all dirty and—!”

“Brian, shut your mouth. Just pick the damn pans up and put them away.”


Naylor rolled his eyes and headed toward his bedroom. Brian Nevaster had come into his house a few months back, desperate for some kind of work. Naylor had been reluctant to accept him at first—the boy was the clumsiest, most awkward fellow he’d ever met—but he just couldn’t throw the poor boy back out on the street. At this point, he’d just been forced to overlook Brian’s absolute failure at housekeeping and try to enjoy the company. At least—it was his mantra now—at least he had someone to keep him company. 

In the kitchen, Brian quickly arranged the pans in the cabinet and shuffled over to Naylor’s room, pausing in the doorway. “Ya got somethin’ for me to do now, Mr. Beckett?”

Naylor looked up briefly, a flash of anger in his eyes, before settling his gaze back on a letter. “Not unless you can tell me why I got an eviction notice from the bank today.”

“E-eviction? You, Mr. Beckett? But ya always pay on time!”

“Don’t I know it? I’m trying to figure out how those God-blasted imbeciles could even make this sort of mistake!”

Brian chewed on his lip, trying to pick his next words carefully. “Uh…um, M-Mr. Beckett…I don’t want to be makin’ any bad assumptions or nothin’, but don’t Eland Brann work at the bank part time?”

Naylor’s eyes locked onto him, and he stiffened. There was a tense moment of silence until, “You’re right. That little bastard does work at the bank, don’t he?” Naylor threw the eviction notice on the floor and stepped on it. “Fitzer and his blasted little assistant! This is some damned plot to get my property, ain’t it? I can’t believe…no, I can believe it! As hard as Fitzer’s been trying to get me to sell. He must’ve gotten fed up with me. Now he’s trying to get me off my land with some underhanded scheme. So help me God, I’m going to skin him alive!”

Brian tucked himself into a corner and watched the rest unfold. Naylor didn’t bother to say another word to him. He grabbed his coat and hat and took off down the driveway, marching on the war path toward Fitzer’s. As he disappeared around the bend, Brian pulled his spectacles from his pocket and sighed.

“Last chance, old boy. Either it ends them both, or it ends you.”

Rule of Three Blogfest Entry, part 2
"The Division & The Conqueror", part 2
Second Character: Brian Nevaster

Word Count: 597
Prompt(s): A character is not who he/she appears to be
A character lies about something important 


  1. Your voice is awesome! And I'm loving the direction this is headed. These characters are great and feel real, as much as the story is immersive. Nice one! :)

  2. Wow... wonderful write. Quite the intriguing piece... Tell me there is more to come.

  3. I just read both Part 1 & 2. Great writing...and CLIFFHANGERS!

  4. Nicely done. Who is next?

    Looking forward to round three.

    co-host #REN3
    Tale Spinning

  5. @ Everybody- Thanks so much guys! I'm looking forward to writing the next part! =)

  6. Great last line! I can't wait to find out what happens next.

  7. Hi Nick, just to let you know that I've been by to have a read – sorry I can’t say too much while judging!


  8. Missed your post last week - glad I'm getting the chance to catch up! Seems like Brian's got some of his own plots brewing?

  9. @Kurt- We shall see. xD

  10. Ooh! Love the devious Brian. Can't wait for the next part.

  11. Anonymous10/15/2011

    Interesting stuff. Everyone really does have a secret in Renaissance, don't they?

    Thanks for coming on the blogfest with us!

  12. The perfect villain - a guy who works at the bank. ;-))


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